This desire for comprehensive lists is well-intentioned, but it can leave readers drowning. “My kink didn’t even make it on the list-I must be exceptionally weird!”) They also want to avoid alienating anyone with unique interests. Realistically, however, I think most are just trying to be comprehensive.Įducators want to give their audience everything they can, demonstrating the truly endless possibilities sexual exploration includes. Why are Yes, No, Maybe Lists so unwieldy? It can feel like sex educators are trying to impress you with their extensive knowledge of possible sex acts. Why Sex Educators Use Long Lists Photo by Anna Nekrashevich They simply don’t have time to go through pages and pages of options, especially if they have to look up the meanings of some of the less common acts. Talk about overwhelming! I’ve had a number of clients tell me that they’ve given up on completing the Yes, No, Maybe Lists they found online. Some creators even use small fonts to cram every possible sex act they can imagine onto those pages. Assuming this audience has dabbled in any possible number of experiences, these checklists are often multiple pages long to try to include anything readers may have missed. Other lists are designed for people with more sex acts and communication under their belts. However, their partner might see this and innocently assume that it refers to two people touching their genitals together. Due to inexperience or lack of exposure, however, this can pose some problems.įor example, someone might check “yes” to genital touch while picturing a partner using hands or fingers to touch their genitals. Understandably, the lists for this audience aim to cover a broad range of common (and a few uncommon) sexual acts to help people explore their options. In the case of young adults or novices, the idea is that readers at the beginning of their sexual journey can use these lists to determine their personal interests and boundaries.
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